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I have always lived in Acul. Only during the
war I was displaced for a year and a half. They had killed
my husband so I went to seek refuge in the sacred
mountains.
I had to worry about my three kids, 1 1/2, 4 and 6 years old
at the time. Then my father was wounded by a bullet
- it must have taken him almost
two years to die.
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I'm still affected by all the
suffering then, the loss of both husband and father. It
hurts kids not to have a father in their life.
Of course I have anger toward the army. They burned
everything dear to me, the house, clothing, corn, animals -
they tortured and massacred our animals, they kidnapped boys
and girls, they violated women, they made us suffer hunger
and thirst in the mountains. As a result of all this I
always have pain in my body.
During the war there was plenty of participation of women
because a lot of men went into combat with the Guerilla.
They needed people to fight and to provide. Many women
worked just like men. During the war we built this model
village, women worked for the school, women built the
streets, secured potable water and electricity, because
there were barely any husbands left. Consequentially, after
the war there were thousands of widows.
Today, the difference between men and women has become
obvious again: Women do not have the same strength. I want
to have a job, but there are no jobs left for me. So I work
on my own, sew Traje and try selling it. My children
basically earn the money to sustain our family, they have to
work for our food.
How can I feel peaceful? I have lost all the good things I
once had. I would like to have land to collect firewood,
raise animals for meat, have a sewing machine. I like
listening to music, but I don't have the money to buy the
necessary radio. I would like to have a house of my own
again, like the one I used to have before the war.
We used to live in fear, sadness and hunger. Now we live
without the terror. But it is a shame - we don't have any
way of making a living. It's almost as if we didn't have
peace, we just keep on suffering the consequences.
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